In the Isaan it is possible to accept something as being true but also disregard it. To accept a truth and disregard it is not the same as to believe it a lie but is to treat it as irrelevant. For instance, in a western court of law, some truths (evidences) are ruled as inadmissible and the jury instructed to disregard them. They are still true, but disregarded.
Although often extremely hard to differentiate between the two, disregarding the truth should not be interpreted as denying that same truth and, therefore, in effect, lying.
To understand the Thai ability to disregard truth we need look no further than their desire to not cause conflict and their belief that everything (including truth and conflict) is transient and everything is flexible and will, therefore, alter (both arising from the Buddhist influence in their culture). In Thai culture, it is acceptable to disregard a truth if it is in conflict now because, later, the same truth may not be in conflict. This is not to assume the truth will change, simply that it will no longer cause conflict.
For a Thai, to disregard a truth if it is conflict is NOT a lie or a deception but simply a means to avoid conflict and, if possible, loss of face. When used to prevent the loss of face in a discussion/argument with a non-Thai, this tactic often (for the non-Thai) inflames the situation. The non-Thai will often expect the truth to be accepted and mistakenly assume that the Thai is lying because this disregard (of the truth) goes against the western doctrine of “the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth”.
This assumption is a major cause (possibly the major cause) of many conflicts in Thai-non Thai relationships. It is insulting to a Thai (just as it is to anyone from any culture) to be wrongly accused of lying.
Another area of considerable interest, and of definitely harder (some would say impossible) rationalisation, is the perceived ability of the Thai to often deliberately give an incorrect answer to even the simplest of questions rather than admit to not knowing the correct answer. This can also be seen as a face saving contrivance. To the Thai the loss of face by not knowing the answer is no more than the loss of face by having to ask. The potential loss of face for the questioner or the person questioned will often cause the Thai to be reluctant to ask even the most basic of questions. Many non-Thais, struggling with the Thai language, will experience this from a Thai friend when they ask the Thai to assist them in making enquiries. The Thai (possibly also struggling with a foreign language and not fully understanding the question) may not be sure they are asking the correct question and would prefer to avoid any possibility of causing conflict (in this case, the loss of face).
Coming to terms with this dilemma can be a particularly frustrating experience requiring a great deal of perseverance and calmness (two traits that the Thais have in abundance). Asking only direct, explicit questions and asking them of several people is, possibly, the best approach. The Thai often utilize this mechanism when asking for something or wanting a favour from friends. To ask the same of many friends does not imply a lack of regard for any or each friend. Instead, it is a means of reaching a personal consensus as to which of all the answers are correct whilst limiting the possibility of causing a face-losing situation and thereby adhering to the Buddhist principle of trying to avoid conflict.
Remember, though, there is also the possibility that an answer given incorrectly was given in good faith and believed to be true. We are not all perfect!
As frustrating, as these cultural behaviors can be to a non-Thai they are nevertheless no more “wrong” with the Thai culture than many differences are “wrong” with non-Thai cultures.
Should you feel this opinion is in conflict with your own, please feel free to disregard it until the conflict resolves itself.
November 30, 2005
November 29, 2005
Isaan beliefs - the Naga
The Isaan is an area rich in folklore, fables and fantastic beings. The northern boundary of the Isaan is the mighty Mekhong river which flows 4,200 km. (2,610 mi) from it's headwaters in China's Qinghai Province near the border with Tibet, through Myanmar (Burma), Thailand, Laos, Cambodia and Vietnam to spill into the South China Sea.
The Mekhong is believed to be the home to the mythical serpent king, the Naga.
A couple of times a year, roughly at either end of the monsoon season, strange fireballs silently rise from the muddy waters of the Mekhong. The Isaan people, with there unique blend of Buddhism, animism and ancestor worship, attribute this to the Naga king of the Mekhong waters. Unable to accept the Isaan explanation, most Farang fortunate enough to be able to attend the festivities (Bung Fai Phayanak, held in October) try to rationalise it as a hoax or some other more believable (for the Farang's western mind) phenomena.
Whatever the explanation is, the Isaan need no further excuse for another festival and it is perhaps better to not try and explain away their belief in the Naga. Simply relax and enjoy what the Isaan do best, celebrate for any reason.
More on the Mekhong Naga legend.
The Mekhong is believed to be the home to the mythical serpent king, the Naga.
A couple of times a year, roughly at either end of the monsoon season, strange fireballs silently rise from the muddy waters of the Mekhong. The Isaan people, with there unique blend of Buddhism, animism and ancestor worship, attribute this to the Naga king of the Mekhong waters. Unable to accept the Isaan explanation, most Farang fortunate enough to be able to attend the festivities (Bung Fai Phayanak, held in October) try to rationalise it as a hoax or some other more believable (for the Farang's western mind) phenomena.
Whatever the explanation is, the Isaan need no further excuse for another festival and it is perhaps better to not try and explain away their belief in the Naga. Simply relax and enjoy what the Isaan do best, celebrate for any reason.
More on the Mekhong Naga legend.
The Isaan dowry - a show of respect
Strange as it may seem in this modern world, a dowry system is still often used by the Isaan when a couple marry.
Even stranger is the fact that the dowry payment is often returned at the end the marriage ceremony.
Why? we might ask. Very little occurs in the Isaan without an element of maintaining the appropriate level of appearance (or "face"). As a show of respect, allowing the parents of the bride to appear to have raised a desirable daughter, the groom is expected to pay an appropriate dowry. The larger the dowry, the greater the respect shown. Complicating matters though, the groom is expected to not exceed the appropriate level and show himself as careless with his possessions as this would indicate he may be careless in his attitude towards taking care of and supporting his new bride.
Fortunately for the groom, the dowry system now allows for negotiation to determine the correct level to be determined.
Also, luckily for the poorer groom (which is often the case in the Isaan), should the bride's parents decide the groom is of acceptable character (or simply liked) arrangements are often made to return the payment. This allows the bride's parents to maintain face by showing their daughter is worthy of a substantial dowry and also allows the new couple to start their life without the groom having to occur a burdensome debt.
Humorously, this returning of the dowry is often known by all in attendance at the wedding. So, how do the bride's parents maintain "face" after returning their daughter's dowry? A great deal of admiration is gained by showing they are caring and generous parents, supporting their daughter's desire to marry her chosen groom.
Even stranger is the fact that the dowry payment is often returned at the end the marriage ceremony.
Why? we might ask. Very little occurs in the Isaan without an element of maintaining the appropriate level of appearance (or "face"). As a show of respect, allowing the parents of the bride to appear to have raised a desirable daughter, the groom is expected to pay an appropriate dowry. The larger the dowry, the greater the respect shown. Complicating matters though, the groom is expected to not exceed the appropriate level and show himself as careless with his possessions as this would indicate he may be careless in his attitude towards taking care of and supporting his new bride.
Fortunately for the groom, the dowry system now allows for negotiation to determine the correct level to be determined.
Also, luckily for the poorer groom (which is often the case in the Isaan), should the bride's parents decide the groom is of acceptable character (or simply liked) arrangements are often made to return the payment. This allows the bride's parents to maintain face by showing their daughter is worthy of a substantial dowry and also allows the new couple to start their life without the groom having to occur a burdensome debt.
Humorously, this returning of the dowry is often known by all in attendance at the wedding. So, how do the bride's parents maintain "face" after returning their daughter's dowry? A great deal of admiration is gained by showing they are caring and generous parents, supporting their daughter's desire to marry her chosen groom.
Food From Nothing - In the Isaan
Living or travelling in the Isaan brings surprises in many shapes and forms. One of the most amazing is the ability of the Isaan to find food where a Farang would never think to look. In the dry season most rice paddies are little more than a dust bowl. For the Isaan this bowl may contains tidbits that will form the basis of a delicious (for the Isaan) snack or even the main meal of the day.
Walk across a seemingly barren paddy with an Isaan friend and witness food appearing, as if by magic. Small frogs will be dug from their burrows, tiny crabs and even small paddy fish extracted from the still damp corners of the otherwise dry paddies. Return home to the Isaan's modest dwellings and combine the gathered tidbits with a few leaves from a tree or shrubs from the austere gardens and you will soon have the makings of a meal. Not a very sustaining meal, but a meal nevertheless.
Most Farang would simply starve in these conditions but the Isaan possess a knowledge that can only be learned through an often harsh lifestyle lived close to their natural surrounds.
WARNING: much of the food gathered and eaten by the Isaan is unpalatable for the unsuspecting Farang and may result in medical problems such as diarrhea and other stomach ailments. Eat at your own peril.
Walk across a seemingly barren paddy with an Isaan friend and witness food appearing, as if by magic. Small frogs will be dug from their burrows, tiny crabs and even small paddy fish extracted from the still damp corners of the otherwise dry paddies. Return home to the Isaan's modest dwellings and combine the gathered tidbits with a few leaves from a tree or shrubs from the austere gardens and you will soon have the makings of a meal. Not a very sustaining meal, but a meal nevertheless.
Most Farang would simply starve in these conditions but the Isaan possess a knowledge that can only be learned through an often harsh lifestyle lived close to their natural surrounds.
WARNING: much of the food gathered and eaten by the Isaan is unpalatable for the unsuspecting Farang and may result in medical problems such as diarrhea and other stomach ailments. Eat at your own peril.
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